


The First Cut Is The Deepest

by loadbearinonion



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Hurt No Comfort, KakaYama Week 2020, M/M, Mentioned Orochimaru (Naruto), Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26301145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loadbearinonion/pseuds/loadbearinonion
Summary: KakaYama Week 2020- Day 2, Gods & Monsters
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	The First Cut Is The Deepest

“Senpai, don’t make me go.” Tenzo pleaded with a hint of panic in his voice. Kakashi looked at his kouhai for a long moment with matching eyes budding tears. “I have to Tenzo. There's a team of ANBU escorting Orochimaru home tomorrow and they will remain there for a month. After that we won't be able to spare that kind of manpower. The council decided to give him parole, but we just can’t let him go unwatched. You’re the only person I trust for this mission." Tenzo reacted to the finality in Kakashi's tone as if he had been slapped. He made a stiff formal bow, uttered a soft “As you command, Hokage-sama” and walked away without even a backwards glance.

When the war was over, and the village no longer in upheaval Tenzo had entertained the idea of retiring. Even though he was only 27, shinobi were never guaranteed much time. Vague notions of tottering around in the forest or traveling to other countries for pleasure played in his mind’s eye. When he was held captive he had just assumed he wouldn't make it out alive so he intended to make the most of this second chance. Now he regretted stalling that retirement.

Kakashi had never wanted to be the Hokage. In fact, he actively did not want to be the Hokage. But duty was the life of a shinobi. Lady Tsunade had been very clear that she was done, and Naruto was still too young and inexperienced to wear the hat. Kakashi was the only one all could agree would be best for the job—even if he wasn’t in agreement. Now, after the council meeting where those old fools decided Orochimaru was worth more alive than dead the burden of Hokage felt especially heavy. Particularly when they informed him that “the mokuton user” should be the one to follow Orochimaru around. It took every ounce of strength he and others present at the meeting had to keep Kakashi from introducing the elders to the worms that lie 6 feet beneath Konoha’s soil.

For days since the meeting Kakashi had delayed the information while he and Tenzo enjoyed the unseasonably fine weather. They went on picnics, did some bird-watching, walked the ninken and spent blissful hours soaking up each other's company. Kakashi was determined to have as much quality time as possible before breaking the news to his lover.

For Tenzo, these last days had been like something out of a dream. Kakashi was open with his feelings, demonstrative with his affections, and seemingly reluctant for them to part at all. Maybe the war had changed the Hokage the way it had changed him. Kakashi must have finally realized Tenzo was never going to leave him. The thought brought a contented smile to his lips. 

A little over 24 hours before Orochimaru was released on parole to his villa in Otogakure Kakashi knew he would have to tell Tenzo the truth. After sleeping in together Kakashi told Tenzo he needed to go into the office for a while and asked Tenzo to meet him there at 11 am. Of course, Tenzo agreed and Kakashi was on his way. Tenzo wondered what would cause Kakashi to ask for him to meet him there so formally. Maybe Senpai was able to get some time off after all and they could travel like they talked about. Or (dare he think it) maybe Kakashi had an important question to ask him. That thought made Tenzo blush a deep scarlet. These musings carried him all the way to the door of the Hokage's office. At precisely 11 am he knocked on the door 3 times. As his bright brown eyes met cold gray ones his smile faltered.

After Tenzo's exit, Kakashi was beside himself. Duty or not, how could he even think of subjecting the man he loved to his first tormentor? He sunk down to the floor, mind clouded over with grief, while he tried to think of some way, any way to make it right. Across the village Tenzo entered the apartment he and Kakashi shared together and sat down on their bed. He thought about all the things he would need for such a long-term mission. A single tear slid down his cheek as he tried not to think about how the rest of his time would be spent in close proximity to the monster that kidnapped him from his parents instead of the god he had hoped to marry.

**Author's Note:**

> I got stuck so hard on this prompt. I initially had a multi chapter fic planned but decided to scrap it all and post this instead. Sorry. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> No happy ending.


End file.
